Cottage Rage!
by Galunsert (aka Laurent & Angus)
Laurent and Angus live and work in Johannesburg. They own a property on Hogsback, which they visit as often as they can. While on leave recently, they worked furiously to transform a workshop into a comfortable cottage. They share this experience in rhyme.
Building in Hogsback is no easy affair,
It can be difficult and quite a dare.
After buying the material, delivery depends on the weather.
If you're unlucky, you must fetch it yourself from the supplier.
Buying sand was a learning experience.
And cannot be done just by chance.
Sand, you see, can be quite diverse.
Useful to build, plaster, even form a verse;
Sand can measure time, filter and blast,
Engrave the memories that should last.
Sand can even fill pot holes
When mixed with other materials.
Unless you know how to build with your own
hands,
You will need to pay a builder with quite a few Rands.
For small jobs, "one point five" is usually the starting price;
It then drops by half and stabilises, which is rather nice.
Cement is mixed and concrete blocks are
selected.
Then brick by brick, you watch your walls being erected.
Sometimes things do not go as planned
As the walls are not aligned.
While you'd think walls were meant to be
straight,
Lay one brick wrong and things go into a state!
It must then be rebuilt, in the best interest of all,
as smoothly and as straight as possible.
Twice on the job, we were assaulted by rain
And wondered if we weren't on some plain in Spain!
Luckily Apollo favoured us for two or three days,
Warming our confidence with a good blaze.
The next job was most illuminating,
requiring installation of the lighting.
We hired an excellent electrician,
Well versed in his profession.
He criss-crossed wires in the walls,
Down, up, in and out of holes.
He was no ordinary electrician,
But none other than a magician.
Strings, levels, shovels and trowels
Should not be placed in the hands of fools
For building a wall is an exact science
hat requires skill, know-how and compliance.
So, if, like us, you want to build a
cottage,
While doing away with the building rage,
Plan well, devise and elaborate,
And your cottage... you shall get.